Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
