jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
