I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
