I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize