These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
