I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
