Banned from zoo.
Again?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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