Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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