Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize