We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
