that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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