So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
