i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
