I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
