We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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