I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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