Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This baby is an asshole
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize