Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
