I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
