Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I AM VODKA MAN
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize