i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize