That's intense
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
