omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
