You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
