I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize