We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
