Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize