So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
