i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize