Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
