Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
