once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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