Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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