walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
