You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
