weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
