You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
