My first STD was from a foam party
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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