Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
