Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
