So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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