I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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