yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
