just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
