i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
