I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Is it penis luge time yet?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
