well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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