I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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