Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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