you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
