my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
