I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
