Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize