I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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