So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
