I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
