I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He did a backflip because drugs
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